In my quest to become pregnant, I endured 3 miscarriages, 4 Clomid cycles, 3 IUI cycles with injectables, and 1 IVF. Each of these blessed events was marked by at least one encounter with a transvaginal ultrasound, which is known affectionately in infertility circles as the dildocam.
Eventually, you get used to it. Maybe you start to wear funny socks so the tech will make chit chat with you about that while he is all up in your business in the most invasive way conceivable. Maybe you close your eyes and imagine you're somewhere else. Maybe you sniffle softly into your sleeve--provided you've been allowed to keep your top on--and remind yourself that it's going to be worth it in the end.
But it's still humiliating. And painful. And even if you are pregnant, the end result looks something like this:
There's a lot of actionable information there, right? Just seeing this image fills you with, well, what exactly? What "facts" do you learn from this that you didn't know before?
And I say that as a person who badly wanted to be pregnant, who wanted to see something on that ultrasound screen that transformed her life and gave her hope.
But to be forced to endure the pain and humiliation of the "shaming wand" when you've already decided to end a pregnancy? That's monstrous. And I thank Gary Trudeau for illustrating the point so well.